Slowing Down as a Spiritual Practice: Releasing Old Patterns with Compassion

7 days ago
3 min read

When I first arrived in Costa Rica, I wrote about fear, disorientation, and the old patterns that traveled with me. The nervous system on alert. The familiar stories rising when control slipped away. The realization that we do not just bring our suitcases when we travel. We bring our patterns.

This reflection is what came after that unraveling.

On the last day of my three weeks here, I am filled with a deep sweetness and gratitude. Something has settled. Something has completed itself.

I came with plans. With excitement. With so much creative energy for what is unfolding next in my life and work. And yet, once I truly arrived, I realized that what was being asked of me was not effort, but presence. Not productivity, but surrender.

After the initial tension released, I could see clearly that the old beliefs and habitual ways of being I have been working with for years were ready to loosen at a deeper level. Not through force or analysis, but through being witnessed and loved. I was ready to unpack the baggage I had already identified and finally leave it behind.

Relationships continue to offer mirrors. I wanted to believe certain old hurts were fully healed, yet there was more to see. More to feel. More to forgive. Especially myself. This time, instead of distracting myself with work or fixing, I stayed present. I listened. I softened.

And nature held me.

The jungle here is alive in a way that reminds you that nothing exists without purpose. The leaf cutter ants moving in perfect lines. The howler monkeys calling across the canopy. Birds, butterflies, hummingbirds, squirrels, insects, all part of an intricate ecosystem where even death is transformed into nourishment. Nothing is wasted.

I found that I could not work. I did not want to. I was too busy remembering how to simply be.

Each day, the saltwater pool became a kind of baptism. Healing waters. The sun offering its light and wisdom.

Many teachers speak of this time as unprecedented on our planet, and I felt that truth in my body. I honored it by slowing down and listening.

While Rich surfed each morning, I walked the beach. Bare feet grounding in the sand. The ocean washing over my toes. Guided meditations in my ears as the Earth met me fully. Along the shore were shells, stones, and crystals. Each one felt like a small affirmation. A reminder of our collective shift into higher awareness and crystalline energy.

When fear or old self doubt arose, I did not push it away. I offered love to the parts of me that had created those beliefs to survive. I placed those wounds into the crystals and returned them to the ocean, trusting transformation. Emotions moved through me like waves. Felt fully, then released.

I also noticed a quiet but profound shift in my marriage. I chose listening more than speaking. Presence more than reaction. I witnessed an old part of me that once needed to interrupt, oppose, or control. I asked gently what it had been protecting. What it feared losing.

As I listened, curiosity replaced tension. Interest replaced defense.

One of the deepest realizations of this trip came gently but clearly. I have spent much of my life afraid of what others think of me, including and especially my husband. Here, at the end of this powerful year and during a potent moment on our planet, I made a conscious choice.

That fear no longer serves me.

I am not special, and at the same time we are all profoundly special. Each of us is a unique expression of the whole. The only thing that has ever held me back from being fully embodied as my soul is fear of judgment.

That time is over.

I am not here to convince or change anyone. I am here to live my truth. To listen to my Higher Self. To trust my soul fully and completely.

This journey reminded me that awakening is not meant to pull us out of the physical world. Joy matters. Experience matters. Pleasure, beauty, and embodiment matter. Balance matters. I will carry this healing home with me, along with a renewed commitment to living fully, not just spiritually awake, but deeply alive.