Friday April 1st is a big day- I have stepped out in faith to be Rev. Rachel and support Recover Your Soul full time. I have left the safety of a good and reliable job to follow a dream and I am excited for what is to come, and thankful for the path that has led me here.
I have been allowing my mind to contemplate the journey and I find it fascinating to recognize how important each of the steps have been. What I can see now is that even the darkest days were an important part of this process and that I could not be who I am today without each of those heartaches, moments of pain and especially the joys. Although in the dark moments, I could not see the blessings- I only felt the fear and unmanageability of my life. But now I can recognize that there was great learning in each and every step of the way.
I have been thinking about each of the jobs I have had in my adult life, and there have been a lot of them! Each was a step along my path and they each gave me new skills and opportunities for growth and learning. There have been many times when I wanted my life to go in one direction and felt disappointment when a door seemed to shut that I so desperately wanted to be open for me. And yet, when I think back I wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone down those paths. I would be somewhere, but not here. The more I have surrendered to my Higher Power and the process of Soul Recovery, I can see that what seemed to be closed doors, were really a redirection to something even greater than I could have imagined at that time.
This new path that I am on- this journey inward to find the healing I so desperately wanted for so many years is more fulfilling than I knew it could be. I had spent most of my life looking for outside approval and acceptance to fill my heart, only to be disappointed and hurt time and time again. Using alcohol and other check-out behaviors to ease my discomfort would bring temporary relief, but in the end I had lost myself and had almost lost hope that there could be happiness in my life. It is interesting that the answer is simple, but the path to find it can be complicated. The answer was to let go of my need to control my family, my friends, my job, my co-workers, and the world around me- and surrender to the natural flow of the Universe and trust that my Higher Power would lead the way. This trust and faith has gotten easier, just as not drinking has gotten easier over time. However, it has taken determination on my part to choose happiness, to take responsibility for my life, to let go of the past and stop being victimized by what I believed others had ‘done’ to me. It does not mean that I still don’t feel disappointment or sadness, but I have a different way of feeling and experiencing it that is deeper in some ways, but without the intense pain that I once felt. I have learned to love myself and accept myself in new and profound ways. I have learned to love and accept others just as they are. I have learned to allow others to love me in the way that they can, and not the way that I want them to love me. I have learned that everything is working for me and not against me. I have learned that I can not control a single thing outside of myself, however, by improving and changing my outlook on life, it is effecting positive results around me.
I am taking this leap of faith and it is scary to walk away from a regular income to trust that Recover Your Soul will be supported by the growing community, but my heart and soul is telling me that this is the leap to make. I have worked hard the last 2 years to build a foundation, one step at a time, and can trust that the guidance I am receiving is leading me on the right path though the doors that are opening for me. My spiritual practice has become the most important part of my life, and through this, the guidance is becoming clearer- I am here to be of service to this community and help to bring light to your lives and help you to transform as I have been transformed.
Together we can do the work that will Recover Your soul.
Blessings,
Rev Rachel
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